Showing posts from 2014

When the ordinary is extraordinary

Last night as I sat and watched a Christmas concert at the same school that four generations of my family have attended, I was struck with a sense of awe that something so ordinary was actually quite exceptional.  

Two Christmas's ago, we were preparing for our trip to China. The past two years have been challenging, wonderful, mundane, stretching, and incredible.  Both ordinary and extraordinary.  

Two years ago we adopted a child that was considered worthless, at least by a culture in general.  In his 6 years he was abandoned as a toddler, found by police, lived in two different institutions, and lived with multiple foster parents (whom I thank God for!).  In his most recent institution he was classified as "bed ridden" and remained in a crib night and day.  The short bars of the crib where walls of his cage.  He watched other children, who could walk, wander around and even go outside. I know now how much he internalized that.  He is so very aware that his body just doe…

Burnout and a New Season

Our Tiny Princess Annie has been with us more than half a year. Last month marked six months of loving this beautiful girl.
Speaking of beautiful girl.
Can you believe how much Miss Cece has grown up?   Maybe it's the fact that her hair has grown so long but she is looking so much older to me.  She still keeps us on our toes, and keeps us laughing.  She is an absolute joy...and at the same time can drive me insane.  It's a paradox I'll never quite figure out.  
Miss Cece is very happy that it's Christmas time again.

We didn't hold off too long on putting up the tree.  As soon as our Canadian holiday "Remembrance Day" was over we switched into Christmas season mode.   We usually let the kids put on the ornaments, which are an eclectic assortment of homemade treasures and things that have been collected over the years.  I can tell our kids have grown taller because more than just the bottom half of the tree is decorated.  Making memories.

We're still s…

Thankful and Tired

It seems that we are getting a summer encore.  Our summer was short and cool but now October has been gorgeous.  The best part is last month's frosty nights killed the mosquito.  
October also brought the end of a very long harvest.  I survived single parenting season for another year.  We celebrated by escaping for a couple days to a small campground.  The weather was perfect for camping, the trees were showing off their fall colors, the campground was virtually empty and there were no bugs. It was just what we needed. A perfect little breather on Thanksgiving weekend (our Canadian holiday).

The short Autumn days made for some glowstick fun before bedtime.

Our trailer was parked right next to a playground.  Which meant some chill time around the campfire for Mom and Dad! 

Aili looks taller than me in this photo! I'm pretty sure it was uneven ground. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

My sweet Miss Cece.  She still struggles with her head to toe was …

It's that time of year

It's harvest time again.  Actually it's been harvest time for about 6 weeks now.   Other years I've been more involved and had many lovely pictures to share.  This year my hands are full at home and I've been too lazy to venture out to the fields to capture the process on camera.  

Cece and I did go on a little field trip one morning a couple weeks ago.  It was fun to go for a ride in the combine with Daddy and have her all to ourselves.  Just Mom, Dad, and our little farm girl.  She soaked it up.  

I snapped a few pics on my phone which is why they are such poor quality.  You get the jist of it though.

Daddy's girl. 

This fall has brought some changes to our family dynamic.  For the first time ever I have three children in public school.  My oldest is still homeschooling but the boys all get on the bus.

I wish I could tell you I'm all torn up about it.
I'm honestly trying not to sound giddy.
Bottom line is it's working out very well for all involved.…

when the brave face cracks.

When the kids are finally in bed and the house is quiet.

I can stop pretending and assuring.
I can stop being brave and strong for them.

All I am then is wrecked.

All day I try to patch the breached damn with platitudes, positive perspectives, and head knowledge, but at night it bursts.   The torrents rush out.  The brave face crumbles.

During the day I can recite for you all the reasons why I am supportive of first families and long for redemption, healing, and reunification for foster kids. I preach to myself the gospel of sacrifice and of a God who is good and sovereign.  I can tell you of a Father who knows each hair on her head, and who sees even a sparrow fall.  I know there is a bigger story being written and I play only a small role.  I am aware that this is all part of the gritty world of foster parenting.  In my head I know these things.  Even in my heart they are deeply rooted.  I know this child is not legally or biologically mine. I have no delusions regarding that fact.

In the Dust

I expected to get a phone call this week.  It came this morning.

In my heart I knew what was coming, but yet I still held onto the glimmer of hope that somehow my fierce love and sheer strength of will would be enough to change what might happen.

We are beginning the "transition" of Baby Annie into her new home.  We are actually very thankful for a sensitive, competent, and kind case worker who understands that fostering involves real families, actual children, and real grief.  I am thankful for our five months with her.  I will always treasure the days that I got to be her Mommy.  We trust that God is good and that He goes ahead of her and goes with her.  Even though I feel like my heart is being gauged out with a spoon, I do have a sense of peace.  This isn't an unjust, or horrible's what is supposed to happen.  That doesn't change the reality that we really love this little girl and will miss her terribly.

I don't have many words right now to p…

Summer Summary

I have definitely not been good at keeping up with this little blog.  So much good intention, so little time and brain function to accomplish it. After posting so little for so long it's hard to even know where to begin.  It feels a bit overwhelming to jump back in.  I really want to capture our memories though...because goodness knows this is the only place my memories are safe.  My sleep deprived brain is leaky.

This is our summer at a glance.
Over all it was a cool, wet summer.  Everything is so unusually lush and green on the Prairie this year.  The mosquitoes and weeds in my yard particularly loved the damp weather.  We did get a few weeks of summer weather before our first frost hit a few days ago.  I'm hoping for an extra nice fall.  I'm so very not ready for the cold to return.

We prefer the summer.   
Cece was my little berry picker.  Our raspberry bushes produced a decent little crop this year.  

We did some camping with the cold and rain.