Showing posts from May, 2013


I just realized that 13 years ago today I gave birth to my first child.
That sounds so very odd to say because celebrating your first born entering their teenage years is typically a pretty big deal.

I guess it's just not when that 13 year old has been missing for 13 of those years.

He's not here to remind us with his adolescent boy presence.  I'm not reminding him to go shower and to hang up his towel when he's finished.  I'm not wondering how on earth I'm going to keep him fed during his growth spurts. I'm not wondering how my little boy got taller than me so quickly, or assuring him no one notices when his voice cracks, or begin to see glimpses of the man he would become.

I don't do those things.   So when this day roles around, it doesn't come with a birthday morning hug, it doesn't come with cake and candles, it doesn't come with me tucking him in the night before thinking "this will be the last time I see him as a 12 year old&q…

Recycling poo and planting seeds

Despite working long days in a much bigger tractor putting seeds into fields, my hubby made time to prepare my garden for seeding.  I'm so thankful for that because my garden is getting in a few weeks later than usual..and time was running out. We had such a late winter here.  
He brought over a truck load of manure from the farm yard, which up until several years ago, always housed a lot of cattle.  The cattle are long gone, but their poopy bedding was left behind.  Lucky for me, the straw and manure has now decomposed into a beautiful dirt filled with lovely organic matter, without even a hint of manure smell.  I plant my garden quite aggressively  using up every square inch of space and our natural soil isn't very good.  Last year the dirt was like cement, it was so hard I couldn't even dig the was also very nutrient depleted and nothing grew very well.  I knew that this year the soil needed some TLP if it was expected to grow anything.

Elijah was delighted…

Progress and Perspective.

{I took these pictures one morning when he was working really hard at walking.  He was overheating during his workout and taken off his shirt. Karate Kid and Rocky have nothing on this kid}

We've had this boy in our arms for nearly four months now.  Hard to believe it's been that long, and yet  I struggle to remember life before all the changes.   Honestly sometimes I try to remember and resurrect a glimpse of the longing and waiting feelings, so I don't take for granted the reality that he's here. 
 I try to remember the "me" that couldn't wait to kiss these chubby cheeks, the "me" that soaked up all the newness and beautiful fulfilment of those first few weeks. 
 I try to remember that child we knew for those first few weeks that seemed to "good" to be true, the child that never fussed, deceived  demanded, or defied...but I know that was just the surface facade of self preservation, and now we're mucking through the layers of hu…

Farm Boy

It's seeding time again on the farm.    Our life here is marked by the seasons. 

This is Elijah's first seeding time, his first Spring on the Canadian prairie.

We went out to the field today to take Daddy his supper.   It was good for Elijah to see where Daddy is.  Now he'll have a picture in his mind when we answer "Daddy's driving the tractor" or "Daddy's working" in response to the question "whew is Daddy?" asked a thousand times a day.

This is where Daddy spends his days and evenings lately.

Farm kids are used to the ebb and flow of the seasons, and understanding that sometimes Daddy is home a lot and sometimes he's very scarce. 

Change is a little harder on this guy, who very much appreciates ritual and routine, but he's been a trooper...and he does LOVE tractors.

God knew what he was doing when he matched these two up.

"Look mommy, I'm a farmer girl!"

"As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest…

Planting Stuff

This past Saturday I had big plans that included getting caught up on housecleaning, kids happily doing chores, and a to-do list being neatly checked off.   After a few hours of frustration and working hard accomplishing nothing I decided to call it quits and go do something with my kids outside.  The clean house just wasn't happening no matter how much I tried. 

I decided to recycle a drawer from a cabinet my husband had built years ago that we recently disposed of.  We upgraded our 12 year old tv to a new flatscreen hanging on our wall so our "entertainment cabinet" was not longer needed.  It was pretty beat up and we have no space left in our house to put it so we chucked it...but not before I snatched out a couple of the drawers to use as planters.   This one used to house CD's...back before we discovered itunes. 

My little garden plot hasn't been worked up and made ready for planting yet but we thought we'd get a start on planting some herbs.  

First we…