Showing posts from January, 2013

And we're off

Tomorrow is the day that we begin our trip to China!   We are leaving home a couple days early to drive our kids to our friends house and get them settled in, then we're off to the City we're we'll catch our flight to Beijing on Friday morning.  We're scheduled to meet Elijah, after we fly to his province on Sunday.  It will be Saturday night back home when we will meet our son.  That meeting will also be "gotcha day" and he will leave with us.  The next day we will return to the office to finish up the official adoption paperwork and he will be legally our son on Jan. 29th.

I can't believe we're finally at this point in the process!  It used to seem like SO far away.  Such a victorious end to a years worth of working, trusting, praying, and pursuing the adoption of our son.

We are so thankful.

It all feels kind of surreal and I know it will sink in once we're on the plane headed to China.
It will be really hard to say goodbye to our kids.   …

Big Changes...and what comes next

There are going to be some BIG changes for our little guy.

A week from now we'll be getting acquainted with our new son  (How awesome is that?!)  At the same time we are saying hello to him,  he will be saying goodbye.  A new life for all of us begins.

When I think about that day it's mixed with both longing and excitement, as well as some sadness for my little boy. No parent wants to see their child hurting, or afraid.  It makes me ache just thinking about it.  In a matter of just a few minutes his life will change drastically.


This time he will have the love and comfort of a Mommy and Daddy to help him through grief and transition, but it will still be hard. Our love may be of little value to him in the beginning.

He has very little concept of all that he is gaining through his adoption into a family, but he will be keenly aware of what he is losing...anything he has known.


His world that he has known for 6 years will change.  He …


Here is a glimpse of Silas' 6th Birthday fiesta,

although they don't quite capture the deafening intensity of 8 partying five and six year old's.

We had a good mix of boys and girls.

The little girls gravitated toward the pink bedroom to play house and bake cookies... and the little boys did some pretty impressive ninja moves off of the couch.

Sticking with our Mexican theme, we served quesadillas for supper.
A couple of the kids were even brave enough to go all out Mexican with the hot sauce.

I have a dream that someday, at some birthday, Silas won't cover his ears when people sing "Happy Birthday" to him.
He tolerates it just enough to get to the cake part.

No fiesta is complete without a pinata.

I now have 2 six year olds!  

I'm going to miss this girl...

My girly girl with a flair all her own.

I sure do love my Miss Cece.

"helping" mommy make birthday cake

It's going to be hard to leave her for 2 weeks!  
I'll end with a Cece story.  Today I followed a strong smell of nail polish to the basement where Cece had pulled out her big sisters nail polish box and helped herself.  She carefully painted each one of her fingers (she was generous enough to have the whole ends of all her fingers painted) with about 4 different colors of paint.  She looked up at me smiling, various colors streaked across her dress (the play dress pictured above that she wore for three days), lipstick all around her mouth, and multi colored hands..."SURPRISE!"..."SO PRETTY!".....amazingly she got none on the carpet. 

I'm going to miss this girl.

6 years with Silas

6 years since   this little boy came into the outside world.  
6 seems like the end of the "little" and the beginning of the "big" kid phase.  sigh. Although it's crazy to see my last tummy "baby" grow up so fast I can't say I'm going to miss his preschool years too much.   He was my most docile, happy, and angelic baby (after he got past his fierce colic) but by about 2 1/2   Life has been an adventure.  
Silas' preschool years have been intense.    He has a way of making simple things very very complicated.  He is opposite of "go with the flow".

But little by little this boy is growing up... and I'm starting to see the traits that were so challenging being matured into an enjoyable little personality.  I'm noticing traits that were once the cause of nuclear meltdowns now being used as assets.  I'm really enjoying being his mom, rather than just surviving being his mom.  Of course I've always loved him to …

Last week at home

So, if all goes as planned in the next several days, this will be our last full week at home.  My days are pretty intentional and busy right now, which is inevitable.  I guess the good thing is it keeps me from sitting and watching my clock, willing the days to go by.
I'm mostly finished packing, and accumulating supplies,  for the three of us who will be in China (Me, my hubby, and our new son)...the rest of the kids I'll pack for just before we leave.  They'll be going to some friends of ours so their packing will be pretty basic.
I've been trying to make up a few meals to have in my freezer for when we get back.  I did that while waiting for Silas to make his appearance 6 years ago too and it was nice to have.  With foster babies I didn't ever have more than a days notice so there really wasn't any prep time other than stuffing some things into a diaper bag and putting in an extra car seat.   I know making meals of substance will be the last thing I feel li…


The count down has officially begun.   In two weeks we will be on the road, dropping off kids, and then flying out.

Only a couple weeks until I will hold my sweet boy in my arms.  He will be our son for always.

The last few days I've been swinging between nagging fear and giddy excitement.  My fears have mostly consisted of all the "what ifs" , feeling inadequate, and pondering all the things that could go wrong.  It's been pretty ugly actually.   I needed a good Holy Spirit smack upside the head.  Seriously.   I'm not a worrier or prone to anxiety but I was kind of derailed for a couple days.
"What if I lose all the documents?"  "What if I can't handle another child?"  "What if he hates me?"   "What if all my kids hate me?" "What if I end up hating everyone?"  "What if I ruin my family?".....I told you it was getting ugly.

I have read enough about the realities of older child adoptions to know t…


Yesterday was my Grandpa's memorial service.  I really wasn't looking forward to it but   the day came anyway.   As I rushed to get kids dressed, ironed little boy shirts and dug through drawers for little girl tights,  I tried to stuff it down. As I looked over the pictures posted on the walls, and sung "Great is Thy Faithfulness" ...I fought to keep it in.  Little bits overflowed into my eyes  and dripped out my nose, it stung my throat, and it made me feel like my heart was in a lime squeeze...but I breathe deep.  In and out.  Blink it back.  Hold it in until my head hurts from the effort.  A gentle socially acceptable dabbing of the eyes while deep inside me broke a keening wail.  Sack cloth and ashes.  A flood of tears that if unleashed would be entirely embarrassing and just might never end. 

My Grandpa was a lot of things to a lot of people.  A son, a brother, a husband, a dad, a grandpa and great grandpa.  An uncle, a cousin and a friend.  They all new him a…