Showing posts from February, 2011

In hind sight

I'm reminiscing and thanking God for all that we experienced while we were in Baja last winter. I think  it has taken time to fully appreciate what we had the privilege to be a part of. Now that we have been home nearly a year  it has really sunk in how much we  were blessed as a family.  It was so easy to take it for granted while we were in the middle of all our daily routines and work.  
A year ago today our kids clothes were faded and worn from months of use and hanging to dry in the desert sun. Spring was making it's subtle appearance with new leaves and orange blossoms.
The weather warmed and our fleece sweaters were stored away under the bed in our trailer. 
My children's hair was sun bleached white and their cheeks were a permanent shade of pink.
We knew our time was coming to an end and we were making the most of every day.
We attended the annual "tea party"when all the little girls at the orphanage dressed up for a very special afternoon.  They were each trea…

when you're stuck inside

When you're stuck inside and every one is going bonkers, it helps to shake things up a bit. Sometimes. Sometimes you just have to maintain a shred of sanity and pray that the cold snap starts to warm up and the kids can play outside.   By cold snap I'm not talking about a Pacific Northwest "artic blast" of gently falling wet snow flakes, cancelled school, and all the kids grabbing sleds.  
 I'm referring to wind chill temperatures of -50 degrees Celsius,  exposed skin freezing in under 10 minutes. Most of my readers will likely have no reference point to understand that kind of cold. Ask the person sitting next to you to slap you on the face. That is the air when you walk outside your  door. Admittedly I am a wimp.
Our car won't start unless it has a block heater that has been plugged in with a stiff frozen extension cord. Then it needs to run for 15 minutes before  we attempt to drive it.  In the time it takes to maneuver multiple children into a vehicle frost bite has …

Just because

Posting this  just because this girl puts a smile on my face all day long.

Laughing at her is one of my favorite hobbies.

Big sister has become quite the little baker. Although we are still sorting out the whole tsp. vs. tbsp thing. Details. She'd prefer to exercise creative freedom.   A little of this a little extra of that.

Silas just likes the butter and sugar. Disdains real food but could eat margarine by the spoonful.  
The only thing more frightening than children taking over the kitchen is  computer hijackers with horrible spelling and grammar that  threaten to "break your life." ...or just my computer.  Which may or may not be my life.

In other news. We are still in the grip of  winter. sigh. Fortunately my boy is proficient at bringing in firewood, building a fire each morning and keeping it going all day. I hate being cold.   I am hibernating next to the fireplace until further notice. When it's safe to leave my house again I'm moving to a tropical island.  
Out of despera…


Sometimes I feel like I need a break from my life.   Sometime I would even like to have a break from being me.  Maybe try being someone more competent and confidant for a day.

Meeting the  needs of every person in my household drains me.

There is always a diaper to change,
a nose to wipe,
a child to read with,
a child who needs correction or discipline,
a meal to make,
long division to re-teach.....

This time of year our life slows down a bit, we hibernate a little more, and our calender is intentionally less full.
There is no yard work to do and no garden to tend.
My husband is home slightly longer in the morning and is home most every evening.
Our days are flexible and fairly relaxed.
I'm not sure why I'm feeling as overwhelmed as I do.  This is our "down season"...if there is such a thing.
The lull before the spring rush.
Maybe it's a bit of cabin fever.

I wake up with the fear that this will be the day it will all fall apart,
That everything we are working …

11 months

This little peek-a-boo girl is only one month shy of a year old. That one year milestone is such a big one.   Leaving infancy and entering toddler-hood...and all the childhood years beyond. I am so so thankful that we have been her parents for that first year of her life.   So many milestones we've had the honor of witnessing.
Miss Cece has developed a passion for hats and entertains herself trying all kinds of things out on her head.  Her favorite hat happens to belong to her favorite person, which also happen to be her two first words. "Dad  hat" I'm the one who has changed, scrubbed and washed every  diaper (with the exception of one).  I'm the one who gets up in the night, bathes, dresses and wipes the boogers  BUT Daddy is the rockstar.   Just the mention of his name causes her to shake and squeal with excitement.   Maybe I should wear hats more often. It is pretty sweet though.  He's just as smitten with her. Even though she messes up the newspaper.

She is a proficien…

Out of the archives

Sometimes it's fun to look back over my blog at the last few years of my life.   The nice thing about blogging is I not only see the physical changes and growth but the spiritual as well. It's like reading back over a prayer journal and photo album at the same time.    Some of the posts I barely remember writing.  Some of them I remember exactly what I was feeling at the time I wrote it.    It's a record of God's faithfulness through all that life has thrown at us.
I decided to resurrect a few old posts just for fun.  A little stroll down memory lane, back to when Silas was still a baby and my writing "style" was a little less refined.  

Three years ago today my brother in law's battle with cancer ended and he was taken into a place we can only dream of.  
That day was his last day of pain.
I wrote this post 8 months later. 
 I was mulling around in my head the topic of suffering and this is what came out of that.  Nothing too profound just my honest observati…

Loss and new life

Three years ago tomorrow our family lost one of it's own. My twin sister's husband of nearly a decade was welcomed into his eternal home. He was taken from a body wracked with pain and made whole.  We will never understand why somethings happen like they do. Or when they do. I don't think I've ever struggled so long and deep over the sovereignty of God in allowing a loving father and husband to be lost. I still don't pretend to understand it. Death is a part of life. It's a sucky, crappy, confusing part of living in this world.  However, I know without a doubt that this world is not all there is.
As I look back over the 12 years that I considered him my brother I am thankful to have known him.
We loved him.
There is someone missing at our family gatherings. 
In the last 3 years we have watched his children grow. We see his personality, his eyes, and his smile, in those children. We continue to pray for my sister who lost so much. 
In the past three years we have welcomed a new…

la vida loca

I live in a house of crazy.    It's quite possible we are too far gone to be saved from ourselves. There are children swinging from the rafters and rappelling from the ceiling. If only they were filled with candy.
(Aili modeling her new "love" shirt.) Thanks Shubin Clan.

Where are the adults you ask? One is behind the camera worrying that either the house or the children will come to ruin. The other is encouraging the chaos. "Teaching them about different knots and pullies." I suppose I should be glad that they will soon be proficient at doing dangerous stunts involving high cliffs and ropes.  

If only it stopped ,just once, before it irrupted into sheer lunacy.

Seriously,  there is just so much wrong with this picture. 

Which is why I am choosing to tune it all out and hide on my computer. (Miss Cece wonders what she's gotten herself into.) I reassure myself that God has a purpose for unusual people. Maybe even somewhere warmer...where my children can burn off their creat…


This past week my husband and I have been reading the book

"Radical, taking back your faith from the American dream" by David Platt.

It is without question the most paradigm shifting, eye opening, mind stretching, and heart shattering book I have ever read.   I feel shattered in a good way even though being broken up into little pieces is never a comfortable way to feel (and I am getting very little housework done).

With each paragraph of the book I shifted from one emotional extreme to another.  I went between resisting the urge to  jump up and down on the couch shouting AMEN!!! quietly closing the book and wanting to  sink beneath the couch cushions.   I feel down right manic at the moment.

Although I had been hearing about this book and wanting to read it for a while it wasn't at all what I expected.  Not completely anyway.   It is so much more than a social justice, give more to the poor, sort of book.   So much more.

The back of the book says "In Radica…

Light meets the dark

I have heard Christians say, when faced with the reality of sin in another human's heart, "I can't believe it. How could someone who appears so good do something so vile? "  Why are we shocked by sin? We should be deeply grieved over it as the Father is, but why are we surprised when people do what is in their  nature to do?
We all have that sin nature in us.   We all have the option to coddle it,  think about it,  justify it,  and  act on it. Which nature will we feed, our new nature in Christ, or the old man that we should be dead to? The one we feed will inevitably win.

  Some people look at the world through lenses of black and white and categorize people accordingly.   With those lenses on, other humans are either God's perfect  showcase trophies confidant in their own merit... or they are utterly disgraceful and hopelessly irredeemable.  The two shall never cross.

We, as Christians, love to put people up on pedestals. Then we become shocked and destroyed when they fall …